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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29866575">Throw my troubles at the pearly gates</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PocketMouse7/pseuds/PocketMouse7'>PocketMouse7</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>DSMP - Fandom, Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bois getting hurt over Tommy's death, Character Death, Five Stages of Grief, Gen, Grief/Mourning, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I didn't even mean to include ranboo, I'm new here, If I change tense halfway through no I didn't, It was meant to go on longer, Oneshot, Probably not good but I'm having feelings, no beta we die like tommyinnit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 01:22:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>651</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29866575</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PocketMouse7/pseuds/PocketMouse7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tubbo liked to wander</p>
<p>In which the five stages of grief wreck a boy looking for his best friend.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; Ranboo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Throw my troubles at the pearly gates</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'm new to the dsmp fandom so please don't look at any mistakes I made. Also, I wrote this late at night when I was having feelings.</p>
<p>Title from Burning Pile my Mother Mother</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tubbo liked to wander. </p>
<p>His first excuse was to clear his head. It’s what they wanted to hear. They wanted to hear that he’s upset. But Tommy had done this before, faked his death before, and this is the same, right? Tubbo kept telling himself this, repeating it like a mantra. Really he was trying to get away from the “i’m sorry”’s. The comfort is suffocating. He figured, nobody wants to bother the widow. Nobody sees the widow as human. </p>
<p>He tried to wander aimlessly, but he finds himself sweeping the dream smp. Sweeping what remains of L’manburg. By the end of the first day, he’d covered every inch of the known world, swinging his sword lazily back and forth, back and forth with each step, clearing away grass and vines. He’ll mow down the whole place if he’s not careful. </p>
<p>It only occurs to him late that night that he’s searching for something. Searching for Tommy. And, to be frank, that pisses him right off. Fuck Tommyinnit. Fuck him for doing this again. Fuck him for making Tubbo worry. Fuck them all. Fuck them for acting like he’s gone. Fuck The Egg for celebrating his death. Fuck Ranboo for acting like he’s gone, and like he cares. Fuck them all. Nobody knew… Nobody knows Tommy as well as Tubbo, he’ll be back, he’ll come back with a bang. </p>
<p>He doesn’t stop on day 2. </p>
<p>He hasn’t slept, so he’s slower, much slower. Today he’s counting moments. He keeps telling himself that he’s fine, that Tommy will come bounding into view any time now, but the deep pull in his bones tells him it’s not true. He doesn’t stop telling himself that everything is fine, and he doesn’t stop walking, because if he stops, he knows he won’t start again. He pulls out his compass, watching the needle spin aimlessly, lolling around, it looks pathetic. He looks pathetic. He stashes it away, ignoring the way it made him feel. Putting it in a box and throwing it away. The compass is heavier in his pocket, but he ignores it. </p>
<p>He doesn’t notice he’s reached the bench until he feels the wood underneath him. He can see the flowers, red and white, and he knows Ranboo put them there. He knows Ranboo is wrong. But he can’t find the energy in him to care. </p>
<p>He can hear someone coming, light, quick steps. He doesn’t let himself hope that it’s Tommy, at least that’s what he’d say if someone asks. Tommy’s footfalls are heavier, though just as quick. Tommy walked like he couldn’t wait to scream into the world, this person walked like they were doing their best not to be noticed. </p>
<p>Ranboo sat next to him, he didn’t say a word, neither boy did, but there was a tension neither of them could quite explain. The aching familiarity of the scene was painful to both of them. </p>
<p>Ranboo reached into his pocket, pulling something smooth and black out. He placed it into the jukebox, and a familiar sound rang out. Mellohi. </p>
<p>Tubbo looked at him for the first time, taking in his tall figure before settling on his face. Ranboo wasn’t looking back. There were fresh, open wounds along his face, running down from his eyes and pooling at his jaw, sizzling with every fresh tear that escaped through his eyelashes. </p>
<p>He thought, when he finally talked to someone, he’d argue. He’d yell. He’d make them see what was so obvious to him. </p>
<p>But looking at Ranboo, looking at the fresh, raw pain, he broke.</p>
<p>Tubbo shattered. </p>
<p>“He’s not coming back, is he” </p>
<p>His voice cracked</p>
<p>Ranboo turned his head towards the shorter boy, looking into his chest, before raising his head to meet his eyes. </p>
<p>“No”</p>
<p>The boys fell back into a more comfortable silence, together in their mutual grief.</p>
<p>Tubbo likes to wander. But for now he’ll stay put.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed, please drop me a kudos and a comment if you did &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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